Tales From A Bar Stool: First Date Fumbles

As a supporter and sponsor of Tales From A Bar Stool, Tingle will be periodically posting sassy true stories from these two champagne drinking, high heel wearing, free spirited single girls!



It was a Tuesday night at Market in the Shangri La Vancouver.  I wasn’t there with the girls, nor was I there for an evening on my own.  I was on a first date.  A nerve racking, stomach clenching, head spinning, palms sweating, alcohol required first date.

The man was an online dating find.  An architect who had been living in Boston for the past 8 years and was now stationed in Pemberton.  He was in town that day and wanted to meet for a drink.  He was cute and well written in his profile so I said, “why not?”.  This was my first date with an actual potential “something” who I had found online.

My previous three online dates had been busts (One I was sure was still in the closet, Two had stood me up and Three had lied outright about his occupation).  Fingers crossed this one wasn’t a complete weirdo in person.

I was the first to arrive and grabbed a bar seat so that I could send “help me” signs to the bartender if things went wrong.  The Architect wasn’t far behind me and I was pleasantly surprised that he actually did look like he did in his photos… plus, he was well dressed – bonus points.  He shook my hand hello and I felt like everyone in the place knew that we were on an internet date.  Embarrassing.  Although, in this day and age, I really shouldn’t be embarrassed… everyone’s doing it.

We eased right in to a conversation, which moved seamlessly between topics.  He was witty and sarcastic, with a bit of a New York edge.  Love those New Yorkers.  But what I liked most… he was a man.  An actual, rugged, chivalrous, testosterone fueled man.  None of this metro, pansy shit.  He wasn’t the type who used more grooming products than me or lifted weights at the gym.  He used his hands… outside, the shirt on his back wasn’t a major label and he was naturally tanned from working outside, not from a bottle.  It was refreshing, to say the least.

Everything was going well – we were on our 3rd drinks and had ordered an appetizer to share – still not at a loss for conversation.  Flirting was in full effect.  We were making each other laugh, touching each others arms and generally having a great time.

Then it happened. I had a momentary lapse and lost my train of thought.  I blame Joshua Jackson entirely.  Because as I was mid sentence he had the nerve to walk right past us. Joshua Jackson. Then, when the Architect was talking and I was supposed to be paying attention, Mr. Jackson walked closer and I broke eye contact with my date to get a look at him.  Then I glanced back to give my attention to the Architect. I felt awkward. He didn’t say anything about it, but the only way he could have missed my first date faux pas, was if he was staring at the thighs of the girl sitting next to me (which is a possibility – she had nice legs). I took another sip of wine and started to exaggerate my interest in what he was now saying.

At the end of the third drink, I could drink no more… it was a Tuesday after all.  He insisted on paying (you see… gentleman) and suggested we share a cab.  When he dropped me off, he actually got out and came around to open my door.  This guy was getting gold stars all over the place.  He even gave me a little peck on the lips, then went in for another.  It was very sweet and I’m not gonna lie, I may have swooned a little.

We had a second date a couple of weeks later (I guess my Josh Jackson fumble wasn’t so bad after all), which was also great.  But things fizzled out after that.  It didn’t help that he lives so far away.  Not very convenient.  Had he lived in Vancouver, I’d have been all over it…

My Lessons from a Bar Stool:

Lessons For the Ladies:

1. Don’t get drunk on a first date.  Know your limit, stay within it (listen to your mothers).

2. Pay attention to your date.  I don’t care if Brad Pitt walks past, it’s rude to check out other people when you’re on a date.

3. Always have a back up when you’re on a first date.  Check for the closest exits and don’t be afraid to make a run for it if necessary.

Lessons For the Men:

1. Do offer to pay the bill on your first date.

2. Be down to earth and let your true self come out.  Don’t try to impress with divulging how much you can bench press.

3. See Lessons #1 & #2 for the Ladies above, and replace Brad Pitt with Angelina Jolie.


If you liked this Tale, you may also enjoy Interpersonal Attraction.

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